Entry 25.16

I never thought when I started this journey into golf instruction that I would be where I am today. I’m not talking about in the geographical sense. Nor am I talking about my current employment. I never thought I would own my own business. Or that I would be a Head Professional and Director of Instruction this soon after finishing my formal education. I am so lucky to have been in the right place at the right time. And I have no interest in leaving. Why would I? I am in a place where I am able to do all the things that I am passionate about. I get to teach, I get to learn, and I am in a place where I can make a difference. I have been a part of PGA HOPE Fayetteville since the very first class. Being a part of this chapter has placed me in the perfect position to not just make a difference in my local community, but in the future of PGA HOPE on a national level. I’m extremely passionate about growing PGA HOPE and my co-lead Brock has the same passion. I know that he and I have made some waves, and we will continue to do so. But I am also in a position where I get to interact and influence the next generation of PGA Professionals. We are starting to see more and more of our PGM students interested in getting involved in PGA HOPE and that is so exciting for me. They are starting to catch the fire that Brock and I have, and my hope (no pun intended) is that they will take that fire with them when they graduate and help us continue to reach more veterans. One person can’t change the world alone, but together, united with a common purpose, we can. These are just a few of the reasons that I don’t see myself leaving. Recently, I’ve been getting asked when I plan on leaving and when I answer the question with the question “Why would I?”, I get told I could make a lot more money somewhere else. #truth. But I’m not driven by money. Would I like to make more money? Of course! Then our PGA HOPE program may be able to become more self-sufficient. Then I could take more classes and purchase more technology, training aids etc so I can work towards being a better teacher so my students could become better players. The place that I am today that I am talking about is being able to make such a difference. My employment has given me that opportunity. It is absolutely incredible and extremely humbling.

Kind of like the game of golf. This game is absolutely incredible. It has a power that can be both good and bad. Golf saved my life. I 100% believe that. I was lost in a consuming darkness, and golf became the light to shine in that darkness and give me purpose again. For others, that darkness is golf. I am constantly thinking about Grayson Murray. Such a great young talented man that was so swallowed up in golf. He was completely consumed by the game in every way. His story is one that I never want to see repeated. It left a massive imprint on the way that I teach and coach. I am constantly trying to tune myself to each player that I work with for signs of the struggle that golf can bring. I focus on the thoughts and emotions of my players so I can help steer them away from the darkness. I think that is one of the most important things that I do. Golf is so much more powerful than other sports. It greatly affects our lives when we are not on the golf course or practice facilities. Golf’s power and difficulty is what makes it extremely humbling. How many times have you felt like you finally were starting to get it when all of a sudden you feel like you have never touched a golf club in your life? Happens to me all the time. Whether it’s my own swing or when I’m teaching, whenever I feel like it’s starting to click, wham! One step forward, two steps back. Thankfully, I am at peace with when it happens to me with my game. I know I don’t have the time to become an elite player at the top of the game.

I like to think of myself as a capable teacher. I mean I’ve worked with two NCAA Division III number ones on an ongoing basis, multiple others in the top ten, I still work with one of the up-and-coming players in the Carolinas Section, I’m in the top ten percent for numbers of lessons given and number of students in the Carolinas Sections and almost every day I get a message from a player thanking me for the help because they just played really well or cut strokes off their handicap. But then golf decides it’s time for me to be humbled. When it happens with my coaching, I really struggle with it. The feeling I get when I’m working with a player, and my mind goes blank. I feel like I’m sitting in Teaching and Coaching I again with no idea what I’m doing. Thankfully, I have a system that I can fall back on that gets me back on track. Kind of like a reset button. My system reboots and I’m back in the game. I also have been lucky enough to have some mentors who have been doing this for a very long time. One of the things I have to tell myself every day came from one of my mentors. I never want a student to leave a lesson and feel like nothing has been accomplished. But I know it happens. I video every lesson and when I have one of those lessons that I feel like went poorly, I go back and watch the video. I have to uphold my end of the bargain by being the best teacher and coach that I can be. But the wisdom from my mentor is always ringing in my ears. “You MUST be the best teacher that you can be for your students. That is your responsibility. But the student has a responsibility too and that is to be the best student they can be.” When reviewing video, there are times where I believe I have done everything in my power to help the student, but it just didn’t click. Far more often though, I’m left thinking “You big dummy. Why didn’t you do _________? That would’ve been far more beneficial for the student.” I take my responsibility seriously and golf constantly humbles me and let’s me know how inadequate a teacher I can be.

But I’m also proud of what my players have been able to accomplish in the few years I have been teaching. I’ve worked with players who have gone on to pass the very next PAT they took with flying colors. I’ve helped players who were already extremely good players get to the next level. I recently received a message from a player I worked with one-time last summer, who said he has taken ten strokes off his handicap from that one lesson and is ready to take off a few more. One of my players recently won the Players Championship in his section. I have players who used to get so frustrated they would throw clubs or walk off the course when they weren’t playing well who now stop, slow down, ask the question “why” and keep going. I have a player who worked his butt off to make the golf team and didn’t just make the golf team, he’s traveled several times. One of my junior players went from the bottom of his age group to winning the tour he plays on. I have a player who has gone from “Hulk SMASH” and spraying it everywhere to controlling his ball flight and learning touch and feel. It might sound the common theme here is me, but it’s not. It has very little to do with me. Sure, I work with these players, but they get it. They are living embodiments of two signs that hang in my bay. “There is no magic dust” and “Learning does not happen here”. They understand that to get better they have to “dig it out of the dirt” as Mr. Hogan said. They put in the time and effort to succeed. They work hard and play hard, understanding that it is a process, not a switch that can be turned on. I’m just lucky enough to be along for the ride.

On the other side of the pride coin, there is a different kind of pride. The pride I get from watching my players succeed would be what I would call a healthy pride. It comes more from a positive self-assessment in effort and achievements. It is a recognition and appreciation that while I’m successful, those successes are not mine alone. In fact, in this case, those successes aren’t truly mine at all. These successes belong to my players. The other type of pride is not just unhealthy; it can be downright destructive. Unhealthy pride is bogus and inflated. You poke at someone with unhealthy pride in the wrong way and their natural defense mechanism is to blow up on you. People with unhealthy pride are aggressive about declaring their personal superiority. Unhealthy pride is egocentric. It’s all about them. Even if they had nothing to do with it, they still find some way to take the credit. I think we can all think of someone like this. I can think to a time in my life when I was like that. Felt like I walked on water and was God’s gift to man. As a recovering hubristic man, I know another one when I meet them. One of the coaches that I go to with questions is like this. The guy really knows his stuff. He has several Tour players in his fold and works on research for companies in the industry. He definitely has a lot to be proud of. But the other day I asked him how he defined the trail leg movement in the golf swing. His suggestion was for me to think of where the joints should be located from P4 (top of the backswing) to P7 (impact) [Side note: if you don’t know the P-system, you should learn it. It is easy to learn and gives you a quick reference as to where in the swing you are]. He gave me a quick rundown of the joints through each of those positions. Then things went wonky. I wrote out a quick explanation of the joints and bones to make sure I was on the right path. “Ok so use the eversion of the trail side ankle to internally rotate the tibia to get the knee flexing and moving medial so the femur internally rotates" etc. Don’t worry if you didn’t follow that fully. I knew this coach was going to understand what I said. Well at least I thought I did. Thankfully I didn’t say the knee internally rotates like I was going to. I knew better than to say that. I knew his stance on the knee being only a flexion/extension joint. I was then chastised for thinking the tibia rotates in any way. I then made a second mistake with the comment that I guess we see anatomy differently. I got the speech that anatomy is a science that doesn’t change and what we do needs to be based on science. The recovering hubrist in me then flared up and made a video to demonstrate my point. I was on the verge of send when I caught myself. You wanna start World War III? Get two hubristic people with opposite views going at it. It can get ugly quick. I thanked him for his time and ended the conversation. There was no point in trying to change his mind. That’s the unhealthy kind of pride. It can easily consume and destroy us. In this case, destroy a relationship. It’s not that I won’t ever ask him for help again. But he’s definitely not going to be my first contact for a while.

It’s funny to think that someone with so much hubris can be in the game of golf. Golf has driven so many people to their knees begging for mercy. Doesn’t matter if you play once a year or are the number one player in the world. It doesn’t care if you just started teaching or if you are the number one coach in the world. At some point, it is bound to happen. But golf also has power for good. I am the outcome of the positive side of golf. I recognize that fact and am doing my best to pay it forward. But I didn’t get here alone. I’ve had encouragement from my wife throughout this entire journey. Some of you may not even realize it, but you encourage me too. When I see the smiles on your faces when you feel what we are working on or when you send me a text about how good its going, I get uplifted. However, I am constantly humbled. Not just by the game of golf, but by your willingness to trust me with helping you improve. That isn’t something I take lightly. I am absolutely proud of all you have accomplished and will accomplish. Robert Frost wrote “Two roads diverged… [on a green fairway], and I- I chose the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” Well maybe I adjusted it to fit our context just a little. But the question still remains. Which road in your journey through golf will you take? Only you decide.